It's my first week back after a family-filled, sun-filled, action-packed USA summer vacation. This past week James and I have been doing a trip retrospective of sorts - and we found that some of our top memories came when things didn't go according to plan.
1. IT outtage cancels our flight ✈️➡️🚗
Remember the July CrowdStrike IT disaster that took down Microsoft systems and grounded thousands of flights? Yep, we were supposed to fly the day it happened. Our 1.5 hour flight became a 13 hour drive from Cleveland to Myrtle Beach.
2. Our car breaks down on the drive 🚗➡️🚛
We're flying down a beautiful West Viriginian highway and our car breaks down. It's Friday. 4:30pm. And the town we've rattled up to has absolutely no rental cars available until Monday.
What did they have? A 20-foot-Uhaul-moving-van. 🚛 Shit you not.
We crammed ourselves into the front and our three backpacks had plenty of room in the back. 🤣
That 8 hour Uhaul drive was honestly one of the highlights of our trip. My dad beasted the drive down and we talked the whole time. We heard stories about his childhood and his parents that we wouldn't have heard if we were in that plane. James even streamed the All Blacks v Fiji game! We laughed, we joked and we talked for the whole 13 hour trip. It was an unplanned family connection that happened because of an IT outtage and a rogue sparkplug. Who woulda thought?
3. A tornado hits Cleveland! 🌪️🌪️
On Tuesday 6 August a series of 'small' tornadoes touched down around Cleveland. 🌪️300,000 homes lost power - for days - including my brother and SiL's house.
The plus side? For three nights straight James, my brother Wayne and I played gin rummy for hours by lantern. We laughed, we drank and we bonded in a way we wouldn't have if the lights stayed on. More unplanned connection time - this time because of a tornado. Who woulda thought?
There are at least 3 more examples I could give (another set of cancelled flights, sicknesses, etc), but the point remains the same: unplanned shit happens. And sometimes it's bad, frustrating and annoying. And it's probably not what you would've originally picked.
But it's happened, so what's the upside?
This is where Appreciative Intelligence comes in. We've discussed this before.
What is Appreciative Intelligence?
Tojo Joseph Thatchenkery defines appreciative intelligence as “the ability to perceive the positive inherent, generative potential within the present.”
Big concept. It’s almost the glass-half-full approach. It's a focus on finding the silver lining. It’s being able to see a breakthrough, or a new future in the present. If this sounds fluffy to you - it's anything but that. Thatchenkery describes it like this:
“It is not simple optimism. People with appreciative intelligence are realistic and action oriented—they have the ability not just to identify positive potential, but to devise a course of action to take advantage of it.” - TOJO JOSEPH THATCHENKERY
This isn't all rainbows and magic
I'm not trying to sound too pollyanna about this. There was a lot of cussing when our car broke down - but at a certain stage we all knew it was unhelpful. We're here, now what.
This way of reframing also takes a lot of practice. I'm in the beginning phases. Usually, when something unplanned and bad happens I go into stress-pot mode. It's unhelpful for everyone involved - but it's my default.
Since I've been practicing this more, I truly have found it's helped - it not only helps me make decisions in the situation and helps others who are part of the situation, it also helps my mental health during and after the situation.
Less talk, more action
Here's two actions you can take today.
Apply appreciation to your brainstorming.
Often we think about the problem and then identify solutions to tackle that problem. Turn the equation around.
Try this appreciation approach:
Celebrate successes
Nothing is too small to acknowledge. If someone’s effort, attitude, knowledge or work made things better, then recognise it. How people want to be recognised for their work varies. Do you speak everyone’s appreciation language?
Check yourself
And just a reminder -- they say misery loves company - but so does positivity! Attitudes are contagious after all! Are you bringing an appreciation lens into the situations you're in? Is your attitude helping or harming the situation?