Reverse your rizz: the key to authentic charisma
- Rachel Kasa
- Mar 4
- 2 min read
The topic of charisma - or "rizz," as the Generation Zs and Alphas call it - comes up a lot in our mahi. Many of us want to be more charismatic.
But I want to offer the idea that you don't need to be charismatic. In fact, if you're like most folks, you're likely feel far more authentic, and be far more effective, with the idea of Reverse Charisma.
The concept of Reverse Charisma is a new perspective on how we interact with and influence others. It flips the traditional idea of charisma on its head. Here's what we mean by both "traditional" and "reverse" charisma:
Traditional Charisma:
Often associated with extroversion, strong presence, and the ability to draw attention to oneself.
Focuses on projecting one's own personality and ideas.
Reverse Charisma:
Emphasises active listening, empathy, and the ability to make others feel valued and understood.
Focuses on drawing attention to others and bringing out their best qualities.
Why does charisma even matter? Shouldn't we be ourselves without worrying about winning everyone over?
In today's collaborative work environments, the ability to build strong relationships is crucial. Connecting meaningfully with others is one way to create those bonds. Reverse charisma fosters trust, respect, and open communication.
And it's easy for everyone to do! Essentially, reverse charisma is about shifting the focus from "me" to "you." It's about recognising that true influence comes from making others feel heard, valued, and empowered. We can all do this without being fake or icky or inauthentic.
Think of it this way: you don't need to be the most interesting person in the room. Real charisma is being the most interested person in the room.
We believe that leading with kindness, openness, validation, and real connection are the keys to being a wonderful person AND are the keys to impact and influence in your relationships.
So, what are the qualities of Reverse Charisma? Try putting these ideas front and centre in your next kōrero:
Curiosity and openness - ask lots of questions!
Active listening - listen to hear, NOT to come up with a great response
Empathy - put yourself in their shoes
Humility - it's about THEM, not you
Seeing and bringing out the best in others - how can you support and celebrate this person?
The classic concept of charisma is about drawing people to you. That's often valuable, and we certainly won't discourage you from making connections! But reverse charisma is about drawing the best out of the people around you.